Suffering, Drama and Healing

12 Jan

It seems that the past week or so I have been inundated with stories of friends who are suffering in some way. Whether it’s heartache over a relationship, health issues, or general life overwhelm, there seems to be a lot of suffering out there. We’ve all been through some kind of suffering in our lives. The question is, do you live through the tough time, process it and move on, or do you wallow in your misery and share it with everyone around you forever and ever?

I admit that I’m a fixer. When I hear about or see a problem, my first inclination is to fix it so I can move on to the next thing. When I hear about a friend’s problem, my first thought is, how can I help them make things better? It wasn’t until recently that I truly understood that some people don’t want their lives to be fixed. They live in and for the drama in their lives, and in some cases will even create drama to spice things up a bit. It was startling to me because I am a seeker of peace and growth, and I don’t understand how anyone could want added drama. Or maybe I do…
It all has to do with power and love. People who feel powerless and unloved will create situations where they can feel powerful. Ever watch a two year old that wants attention? They will do anything to get it, including running out into the street or having a very public meltdown. The same holds true for teenagers. Those who need attention will get it, whether through positive means like sports or academics or through negative means of substance abuse and other self-debilitating behavior. I even knew a woman years ago who only got loving attention from her husband when she was sick. Guess who was never well?

So what’s the point here? I think it’s this. When we see someone in our lives that is suffering, the best thing we can do is let them know we care, offer assistance and if it’s not accepted, let go. Letting someone know they are loved and appreciated is the greatest gift you can give. And if you’re one of those people out there who feels unloved and unappreciated, know this. When I pray and meditate, I ask for blessings for myself, my family, my community and everyone on my planet, so there is at least one person who prays for you every day, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one. The blessing I ask for every day came from one of my yoga teachers, and it truly brings me peace to say it. I say it once for myself and my family, once for my community and once for the planet. It goes: “May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on.” Take it. Say it. Share it. May it bring you peace in your life. Have a great day!


One Response to “Suffering, Drama and Healing”

  1. Clare Flourish January 12, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

    I think one cannot judge from outside. Is someone doing necessary processing in order to move on, or wallowing? Perhaps even they cannot tell. But yes, if your help is not achieving, you are entitled to disengage.

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