Right versus Happy

26 Jan

Right or Happy, which would you rather be?

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? This is a question I have struggled with in the past. I consider myself a rather intelligent person, and in my younger, brasher days, I would argue until the cows came home, especially if I knew I was right. I have a son the same way, go figure. The interesting thing is that older people generally don’t like to be told they are wrong by younger people, and at a certain age, younger people don’t like to be told they are wrong by older people, especially parents. I think this is where so much conflict comes from between teens and parents. Everyone thinks they are right and stops listening and communicating.
We have very high standards and what most people would call strict guidelines for our children, but they know the reasons for all of it. We expect a certain academic standard and we know as much as we can about who are children spend time with. Are there times that our children are unhappy with our decisions and/or expectations? Of course, but they always know why we do what we do. They know we question ourselves and our decisions occasionally because we want them to know that it’s ok to move forward even when you’re unsure of yourself. Life is a constant negotiation and our lives seem to be happier when the decision about what is right is on a day by day, sometimes moment by moment basis. The bottom line is that we often choose what is right over what will make our household happy. It also helps when we’re given more than five minutes to make a potentially life altering decision. Parents of teens understand this.
With others, it is a totally different story. I’ve recently encountered a couple of people with very strong opinions about things, including one who swears they remember something about me that isn’t true. In those cases, I’ve learned to be happy instead of right. I’ve learned to let go of the need to prove I’m right because I don’t need that drama in my life. I don’t need to prove I’m right to prove my point. I don’t need to prove I’m right to put the other person in their place, and I don’t need to prove I’m right to make myself feel better. Today, I decide to be right in my heart, right in my mind and right in my soul, not necessarily in the discussion. If I have to defend myself, I will, but until then, I bless the person who does need to be right and send them on their way, mentally and spiritually and occasionally physically. It frees me to focus on other things that are more important to me, like sharing with you. I think it is a much better investment of my time and energy and brings me so much more joy. So today I choose happy. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Have a great day!

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