Mind Your Own Business

27 Jan

 

The very purpose of spirituality is self-discipline. Rather than criticizing others, we should evaluate and criticize ourselves. Ask yourself, what am I doing about my anger, my attachment, my pride, my jealousy? These are the things we should check in our day to day lives – The Dalai Lama

 

 Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged, and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.  And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? – Jesus

The phrase “mind your own business” has become one of my favorite, not to use on other people, but to use on myself. It’s so easy to dabble in other people’s business and judge your own progress by them. As a matter of fact, it’s what our educational system is built upon. We’ve found that to be especially true in the college search process. My oldest child, a high school senior, has excelled in school. He thrives on competition and has the grades to prove it. He has applied to some of the top colleges in the nation and is currently being compared to other students he has never met by people none of them know. Will he be admitted to those exclusive schools? Will we be able to afford them if he is? As we told him, we can only do what we can do and we give the rest up to the Divine. You can’t control what others do; you can only control what you do.

I think it’s that way in life too. Whenever I get too involved in someone else’s life, especially those who like a lot of drama, I feel the stress of their situation and the drain of my own energy. I want to help them fix their situation so very much. As I gain in years and wisdom, though, I realize that people are generally in the situation they are in because of the choices they have made in their lives, and if they want their lives to be different, they have to make different choices. I know that is going to hit a nerve with a few people, but I’ve seen this so clearly in my own life.

I have two family members with life threatening medical conditions. I married one and gave birth to the other. Because of those medical conditions, we pay over $8,000 per year in medical costs. I’ve chosen to stay home to create the best home I can to keep my family healthy, even though it meant giving up a lot of extras like vacations, new cars and clothing that comes from a store instead of a goodwill or thrift shop. I could have chosen to work, but I didn’t. I don’t whine about our financial situation because I believe in my heart it was the right path. The result? Each of my children has missed less than 10 days of school since preschool. One of them has only missed 2 days. I call that a success. Ironically, I was so focused on my family’s health; I didn’t always take care of my own, so recently, I started minding that as well. It’s paying huge dividends and helping to make my family even healthier.

There are so many other benefits of minding your own business; I can only touch on them here. By focusing on your own issues, you will change yourself, you will change the way you deal with others’ drama and you will be freer and lighter than you’ve ever been before. You will also see your path in the world clearer and your Divine light will shine brighter than ever. It’s what everyone deserves and there are so many ways to get there. To get started, I would suggest writing down what you are grateful for in your life and what you want your life to be in the most positive terms possible. That means you will avoid the words “stop” “not” “don’t” and any other negative contractions. How’s that for a challenge? If you want help with it, contact me and we’ll get you started. Just remember, I have to mind my own business first. Have a great day!

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