Out of the Holding Pattern

23 Jun

Most people are aware of holding patterns, even if they’ve never flown. It’s when they put an airplane in a set flight path that just circles around and keeps the plane in the air without ever really going anywhere. I feel like I’ve been there myself for the past week.

I’m stuck, not in a bad place, and maybe that’s part of the problem. Last week, I got a summer cold. I was coughing, had a fever and felt just plain awful. I’ve never had a summer cold that I can remember, and this one knocked me for a loop. Seven days later and I am still not fully recovered. My family will tell you that I’m never down for more than a day or two, so when I hit my 4th day of sick, the kids were worried, especially since I had decided to take that sniffling, sneezing, achy, how the heck did I wake up on the kitchen table medicine. The road back has been slow and when it comes to illness, especially my own, I’m not very good at feeling bad.

The worst part for me in the past about being sick was watching the house practically fall down around me. When you have a house full of very active boys, that can happen quickly, and it has always amazed me how long it takes to clean up a mess that can happen in an instant or less. It also amazed me how the small pile of laundry I had when I stared feeling bad would erupt into a mountain of clothes I somehow didn’t even remember seeing on my children during my illness. The sink would overflow with dishes and the mess just grew.

This time, the house still stands. Although they had to be asked to help with the daily chores, the kids and my husband did pitch in when asked. The bathrooms stayed clean. The dog hair was swept up, mostly. The dishes were done and put away with only a few games of where the heck could they have put it? The laundry, when I finally felt well enough to venture into the basement, was caught up in just a few loads, thanks to the gift of a high efficiency and large capacity washer and dryer, the gifts I never knew I needed until I had them. Everything is pretty much where it was before I got sick except for me, and that is my holding pattern.

I know I should…(insert any number of projects I have waiting for me to start and/or finish). I know I could…(insert the same list), but I’m not. Why? Why not? For me, I think it has to do with accountability. I need some outside pressure to get started again. I need someone to tell, so I guess I’ll be telling all of you. Today I will get started again. I’ll spend some time making my home and my life just a little bit better. I’ll put off procrastinating and enjoy the ride. I’ll get back to helping my dreams come to life, and I’ll let you know how it goes. By doing that, I’ll opt for de-cluttering over napping and moving forward over just staying where I am. I’ll start reaching and growing and just knowing that inspires me to get out of this chair. Today, I begin again, and it feels great! Thanks for being you and have a great day!

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2 Responses to “Out of the Holding Pattern”

  1. Mark July 18, 2012 at 9:51 pm #

    This strikes a chord for me. I am a proficient procrastinator and allow ‘should dos’ to bring me down. I beat myself up for it too, which initiates a downward spiral. There are also several things not happening in my life and I am trying to build my dreams atop a less than perfect platform. I am also struck by ever larger bills coming at me from left field and wonder why and how these occurred.
    At the moment my life is in a holding pattern and I am not seeing any particular stimulus or event to change this in the near future. All the while I need to help provide for my family and this limits my ability to fullfil my goals. On the other hand I have a new job (less stressful and less pay), one day off in the working week to work on my goals, and I have the quality time with my family that my previous employment never offered me. I am really trying hard to look on the bright side and to ‘vibrate’ at a higher level. I have begun a fitness programme to improve my energy levels and my general outlook. There are a lot of positives in my life and I have a lot to be and feel happy about (especially my wife and kids). I liked the idea of affirmations and will continue to work on these. I will work to take myself out of this holding pattern! Keep up th advise and positive stories I find them really useful and motivating.

    • karenbemmes July 20, 2012 at 3:03 am #

      You know Mark, sometimes just knowing that others are going through the same ups and downs you’re going through, especially the downs, is what makes it easier to push through. Will send you lots of prayer and positive energy to get to the place you dream of being.

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