Taking the Big Step

9 Aug

So now I’ve gone and done it. I’ve committed myself to writing a book and to finishing it by September 27, 2012. How? I entered a contest, and that’s the deadline. I’ve drawn a line in the sand, and the flood of emotion begins. I’m excited because I’ve moved forward on a goal I’ve had for a long time. I’m terrified that I’m not good enough as a writer to be published or that my subject matter isn’t good enough. I’m thrilled that the deadline will motivate me to focus, and I’m afraid that my sidetracked nature will keep me from reaching my goal. It’s quite a party in my head with all of the voices telling me all of the things that could go wrong and the other ones that detail what could happen if things go right. So now what do I do?

The first thing that occurs to me is to run to the kitchen and stuff myself with carbs. I want to push that voice of fear away in a food coma that will silence it for hours or maybe even days. I know that isn’t the grown up answer I’ll eventually follow, but the thought of losing myself in a chocolate and potato chip frenzy for the day does make me smile. Another part of me thinks about all of the nice things we could do for others like baking cookies and bread or making a meal for some friends that are in need. Doing for others always makes me feel better and is a good thing. A mentor of mine once told me, though, that it is so much easier to fix everyone else than to do the work of improving ourselves, so as worthy as it is, I guess I’ll let someone else get the kudos this time. I’ve also considered just turning on the TV and zoning out in the Olympic glory or the smorgasbord that is the Food Channel. That would work for a bit, because I’m inspired by the athletes and distracted by the fun food shows, but at the end of the night, the book will still be unwritten and each day the task will grow more frightening and monster like.

So, what’s the next step? For me, the answer always seems to lie in some kind of system. To get my home, mostly, organized and create routines to keep it that way, I use a combination of two systems that I really like. To get our finances in order, we used a different system. To get this book written, I’ll need to use what I already know and create a new system to “git ‘er done” as Larry the Cable Guy would say. So, I’m about to create the system and start putting it into practice. Hopefully, I can do something I’ve never done in the next seven weeks and that is to bring a book to life. I want to do it to inspire and teach my children that even the most challenging goals are within reach. I want to do it to show my husband that I can be the person he’s always envisioned me to be. I want to do it most of all to prove to myself that I am a writer worthy of being published and being called an author. To do such a thing is a dream, and I’ve always believed that dreams can come true. It’s time to wake up, get up and make it happen.

For a little extra boost of courage, I’ll keep repeating Mark Twain’s quote to “do the thing you fear most, and the death of fear is certain.” Anyone want to face a few fears with me? I would welcome the company. If not, I’ll keep plugging along by myself. Thanks for being you and have a great day.

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One Response to “Taking the Big Step”

  1. Kim August 12, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    Wow – how exciting! I’ll be rooting for you 🙂

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