From Hypocrisy to Love

28 Jan

freeldsart forgivenessDo you ever have to confront your own hypocrisy or am I the only one who wants to act one way and sometimes acts another? I did not sleep well last night, and I woke up angry. Usually I wake up happy and chipper, sometimes to the point of annoying the members of my family who are not morning people. Today was different, and the worst part was that I didn’t know why at first. I did know that I wasn’t angry with any of my family members and was able to get them out the door for the day without any altercations. I was still being nagged by that angry feeling, so I decided to meditate. While meditating, I realized exactly why I was angry and who I was angry with…me.

For the past few years, I have been working on my spiritual path. I’ve changed so much in my life that I can hardly believe I’m the same person I was even ten years ago. There are so many situations that I can step back emotionally and mentally and be the person I want to be. I can be the compassionate, loving and supportive child of God I believe we were all born to be. Occasionally, though, someone throws me a curve ball, Divinely guided I’m sure, that hits me right between the eyes and lets me know I still have some growing to do. Yesterday was one of those times.

Everything was going like clockwork yesterday. I woke up feeling wonderful. I was energetic, focused, productive and at peace. The pond of my life was as smooth as glass. Then I got a phone call from a friend. It was a nice phone call to catch up and tell me some new things going on in my friend’s life, but something happened in that phone call that flipped a switch in me. My friend told me a couple of things that don’t necessarily agree with my values. Most days I can let things like that slide. Yesterday, I slipped into my judges robes and passed sentence on my friend and the situation she was describing. It wasn’t until this morning, after a night of lousy sleep, that I realized what I’d done. That made it even more frustrating because I knew I had to make a choice. I could let things go on as they were. Maybe my friend didn’t notice my judging. Maybe it would just pass. Maybe no one cared. Nice thoughts, but for a person who is working on being authentic and honest, something else had to be done, so I texted my friend and asked if she could stop over. Yes, I could have just called, but something about talking face to face puts more meaning into the conversation for me. Luckily, she had some time and agreed to stop over without knowing what we were going to talk about.

So then I got to wait. She showed up about a half hour later. I told her what I had done and asked for her forgiveness, and she gave it to me. Fortunately for me, she is a very forgiving person, and I am grateful for that. So we went on with our conversation. We’ll go on with our friendship, and I’ll go on with my spiritual path, which has a little bump in it that was easily passed instead of the mountain my mind could have created if I hadn’t come clean with my friend. The day goes on and so does life, but I’m a little different, a little more aware and hopefully a lot better of a person for having had this experience. It was scary asking for forgiveness. It was scarier to admit I’d done something for which I needed forgiveness, but it was scariest to think I might not receive the forgiveness I wanted so badly. I am lucky and blessed and so much happier and wiser for this experience.

Maybe you have a something you’ve done that needs forgiving. Maybe you’re the person that needs to forgive. In either case, I learned that forgiveness, whether asked for or given, is a path to grace. Grace leads to peace, and peace leads to love, and who could ask for more than that? Thanks for being you and have a great day!

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One Response to “From Hypocrisy to Love”

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  1. From Hypocrisy to Love « karenbemmes - January 28, 2013

    […] From Hypocrisy to Love. […]

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