Spiraling Back Up

19 Mar

freevecttordotcomyogaDid you ever have one of those days when you wake up feeling miserable and every thought seems to make it worse? I was having one of those days, starting this morning. I woke up and thought about some insurance issues we’re having. I need to make a call today that I don’t want to make. I also realized that if I don’t get this issue ironed out in the next nine days, some of the financial help we receive will not be available to us next year. Yikes!

I got up and stepped on the scale to look at a number I didn’t like. Why did I eat bread yesterday? Why did I make a cake? Why did I promise to make my kids breakfast sandwiches that take so much longer to make than anything else they eat for breakfast? Then I remembered the forms I needed to fill out for school that are due today and require a check. Then I looked at my new checks and realized that the number sequence is off. The yuck just seemed to be piling on, and I could feel myself slipping into the darkness of anger on the edge of a full blown pity party and its resulting martyrdom and misery for me and everyone around me. This was not looking like it was going to be a good day at all.

I got my youngest child out the door to school and then I got on Facebook. I don’t usually get on Facebook until I’ve gotten more done around the house because I know how I can get sucked in and before I know it two precious hours are gone from my day, and I have nothing but guilt to show for it. There were the usual messages and posts, and just as I was getting ready to write my own post in a private group about how I was struggling today, I saw this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-paul-phd/how-to-be-miserable_b_2896874.html. It was as if the Divine was talking directly to me, and I realized I was asking the wrong question. Why?

Maybe it’s because I’m an American. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman. Maybe it’s because of something else, but I have this ridiculous habit of asking why things happen, especially when those things feel negative and disempowering. The worst part is that I know that if I share that misery in an email or a Facebook post that I will get the sympathy and empathy I desperately want. The reason I call it the worst part is that everyone who supports me in my misery has to get down there in my misery with me and feel it too. Ewwww!

Don’t get me wrong; I think compassion is one of the best traits human beings have. I love our ability to care for others, but so often we wallow in misery looking for sympathy, which keeps us stuck, rather than looking for solutions or even a kind word that can bring us back up. How many times have others offered words of encouragement and solutions, and we do everything we can to ignore them or refuse to be comforted or uplifted by them? I have seen this as the giver of encouragement and the receiver of it. The funny thing is that sometimes we’re praying with everything that we have for God to give us an answer or a sign that He’s listening, and when we get it in the form of a suggestion from a friend, we automatically assume it won’t work or give some excuse why we cannot possibly do what the person is suggesting. We negate the answer to a prayer and then wonder why our life isn’t working out. DUH!!!

So here’s the thing I’ll be doing today. Instead of asking why anything is happening to me today, I’ll be asking what I can learn and how I can be better because of it. I have a plan, but if that doesn’t flow with the plan the Creator has for me, I’ll flow with that the best I can. I’ll also be asking what I can do for myself to lighten my burden and the burden of others, and I’ll be looking for the blessing in it all, because that’s how I live when I live my best. Some days, like today, are more challenging than others, but every day upon this Earth is a gift from the Divine, and how we choose to live it is our gift back to the Divine.

One of the other things I do when I’m struggling to live my best is to fill my life with things that bring me joy. Writing is one of those things, as is meditation. I also love watching inspiring videos, and this one recently crossed my path: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p98KAEif3bI. I’ll definitely be watching it today. It is a beautiful story and worth your time. Once you watch it, you will be reminded that you are magnificent and so is everyone else you encounter if you are just willing to see it. As always, I thank you for being you and have a great day!

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