Whispers from the Divine

9 Aug

I believe that everyone is born with intuition. I’ve had “gut feelings” since I was a child. When I follow those gut feelings, things tend to go really well in my life. When I ignore those feelings, things tend to go a little wonky almost as if God/The Universe/The Divine is reinforcing how important it is to listen to that small voice that whispers the truth to you always. The ironic thing about intuition is that when you listen to it and follow the path you should, things go well, so you’re only indication that you’re not following your intuition is when things go poorly. That’s usually when you realize that you knew you should have done something differently and you just didn’t listen.

I’ve had several times in my life when I’ve ignored my intuition or talked myself out of something because it didn’t seem logical or normal. My first marriage was like that. Without going into too much detail, we got married because it was the next logical step. We dated off and on for about 10 years. We loved each other, and we got along, so why not get married? I think there were signs along the way that we weren’t meant to last forever, but at 25 and 26 years old, it was the normal and logical thing to do. Legally, the marriage lasted just over three years, but in my gut I knew long before the judge signed the dissolution papers that my marriage was over. I also believe, though, that every situation can have a silver lining, and in the case of my first marriage, I married someone very much like my father, and by living with him, I learned how to deal with my father on an adult level. That knowledge was priceless, and I’ll always be grateful for the lessons I learned.

Another time I decided to ignore my intuition was when my father was in hospice care. I visited my father three days per week when my oldest child was in preschool so my dad could spend some time with my newly born second child. We would also make a trip as a family during the weekend so that my oldest child could visit with his grandpa whom he loved dearly. Because the hospice facility wasn’t in the greatest part of town and because we had to park in a parking garage, we always went during the day. One night, March 31, 1997 to be exact, I had this feeling that we should go visit my dad after having dinner with my mom at my mom and dad’s house. It was after 6 PM and getting dark, so I shook my head, told myself how silly that was because we never went to hospice in the evening. About a half an hour later the phone rang and it was hospice letting us know that my dad had passed. If we had left at the time I thought we should go visit my dad, we would’ve been there for his passing. That was kind of tough to shake off, but I also think everything happens for a reason, so if I wasn’t there for my dad’s passing, there has to be a reason for it whether I figure that out on this earth or not.

Since then, I pay attention to my intuition most of the time. I turned down a job collecting rents because I dreamed, for three nights in a row, that I was shot by one of the tenants. I knew when I told the person who offered me the job why I couldn’t take the job that they would laugh at me and they did, especially when I told them which tenant I had dreamed about. They assured me, that this man would be the last person to ever shoot anyone. Less than six months later, that same man was arrested for domestic abuse. Would something have happened to me if I’d taken the job? I don’t know, but I’m glad I listened.

Unfortunately, I still occasionally dismiss my intuition, and the results of doing that are usually swift and very clear. Last night was a perfect example of what happens when I don’t listen. Last night I had chicken marinating for dinner. I love chicken when it’s grilled or fried, but I’m not a big fan of having it baked. My husband asked me how we were going to cook the chicken, and my intuition very clearly told me we should bake the chicken and perhaps fry it to crisp up the skin at the end. That sounded like a lot of work, and I didn’t want to heat up my kitchen since it was already hot and humid outside, so I ignored my intuition and suggested that we grill the chicken. My next thought had to do with my husband’s grilling skills. You see, my husband is very talented in the kitchen, and very talented with the grill, except when it comes to chicken. Almost every time my husband grills chicken, at least chicken with skin on it, he burns it. I know this. My intuition reminded me of this, and I ignored it.

I have no idea how long the chicken had been cooking when one of my children said, “what’s that smell?” I looked at him and then at my husband and said, “it’s the chicken burning.” What none of us knew until my husband walked on the back porch was that not only was the chicken burning, but the entire grill, which was sitting on our wooden screened in porch, had caught on fire. There was thick smoke and soot in the air, and I was really afraid the house was going to catch on fire. As my husband walked in and out getting water to put the fire out, the smoke came in the house and set off all the smoke alarms. We had to open the windows and use fans to get the smoke out of the house and had to hose down the porch to get the soot off the screens, the ceiling and the floor. My not wanting to turn on the oven and ignoring my intuition resulted in the windows being opened on a nearly 90 degree day with high humidity, a ruined dinner and an unhappy family.

Looking around my house today you would never know that anything happened. The soot is gone. The smell is gone, and the chicken is gone. What remains is the memory of not listening to the small still voice inside, and the near catastrophic results of that. I am so very grateful that the only things damaged were a few chicken thighs and a couple of egos. I’m grateful that we have the financial resources that we could order pizza, and I am most grateful for the reminder to listen and follow my intuition. So today I’ve spent time walking in nature, praying out loud and reconnecting with The Divine. I’ve done yoga, and I’ve meditated. I feel grounded and balanced again. I’ve talked with my husband, and we’ve worked through the bumps and bruises to our egos. We are happy again and a little wiser than we were yesterday. We still don’t agree on whether we need a new grill after yesterday’s episode, but whether we get one or not I can pretty much guarantee that chicken will not be on our grilling menu. Thanks for being you and have a great day.

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