Do Better December 22nd 2014 Living in a House of Cards

22 Dec

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Today is our first Christmas celebration, and it’s at my house. I’m not ready. My tree isn’t completely decorated. My dining room table still has a mess on it. There is food to cook, showers to take and so much more I could list, but the more I put on my list the more fragile I begin to feel. It begins to feel like I live in a house of cards, and one good gust could have it all tumbling down. Why do I feel like this? Why do so many I know feel such anger, frustration, depression and discouragement this time of year? There are so many answers, but I think the biggest one for me is wishing.

I wish I had been more consistent with getting ready for the holidays. I wish I had more energy and focus. I wish I had painted the ceilings, walls and baseboards and doors. I wish I was Donna Reed in It’s A Wonderful Life, but I tend to be more like Jimmy Stewart. I want to be grace under pressure and just sail through it all, fixing everything behind the scenes, but I tend to be more straightforward and direct. I never intend to offend anyone, but sometimes I do because I ask questions; lots of them. I’m open and honest and sometimes wish I could share less and be more private because wearing your heart on your sleeve leaves you vulnerable, but I also know I wouldn’t be happy being guarded and private. It takes too much of my mental and emotional energy. In the long run, it’s easier for me to love as much as I can and take my lumps, and thankfully, I have a husband that knows how to help me soothe the bumps and bruises of life and show me how they make me a better person.

On days like today, though, my life and my emotions feel like a house of cards. It feels like if one thing goes wrong, the entire thing will come crashing down, and maybe it will. So what if it does? I confirm what I think some of my family members think of me. I have a less than perfect Christmas. I realize, yet again, that I can’t do it all, especially by myself. Well, DUH!!! No matter what I do, there will be family members that will never give me credit for succeeding. I think every family has those who look to tear others down to build themselves up, and when you’re the target of those people, holidays just increase the stress level. I’ve also found that those people are either incredibly insecure or are so narcissistic that nothing you do can please them, so why do we even try? For me, I guess I think they may be right. Maybe I’m not as good at life as I think I am. I know I’m not as proficient as I would like to be, and when I sense my own vulnerability and someone confirms what I already doubt, the trouble in my head begins. I start doubting everything and make my life out to be a bigger mess than it is. Add a little sleep deprivation, lack of exercise and food that is unhealthy for me, and that house of cards folds like a bad poker hand. This morning feels like I have one of those bad poker hands, but I know what to do to make it better, and I’m in the process of lifting myself up. So far, I’ve cleaned one bathroom so it’s “good enough”. You cannot eat off the floor, although I wiped it up with a cleaning wipe, but why would you want a floor so clean in your bathroom that you could eat off of it? How gross is that? I’ve spent time in meditation, not because I have the time to do it, but because I feel like I don’t. There is a story of a troubled man who visited a sage and asked how long he should meditate. The wise man said that the troubled man should meditate for one hour every day. The troubled man said, “I don’t have time to meditate for an hour every day. I have too much to do.” “In that case,” the wise man replied, “you need to meditate for two hours every day.”

We can lose sight of what’s important so easily during this season. It’s supposed to be a season of peace. It’s supposed to be a season of caring. It’s supposed to be a season of love. It’s so easy to forget that when we’ve got a list a mile long, but that mile long list being completed isn’t what today, tomorrow or any day is really about. Yes, the tasks are important, but the people are too. If they judge you for some dirt on your baseboards, they would judge you for something else if your baseboards were pristine. If they judge you for something like that, their life must be pretty narrow. If they judge you at all, you can choose not to respond and not to even accept their judgment. Your energy would be much better spent praying for them, sending them good vibes or sending positive energy their way anyway. By doing that, you can hardly help but to have some land on you as well.

Take a moment right now to send those prayers, vibes and energy to every difficult person in your life. Wish them joy, because the more joy they have, the less venom they have to spew on you and others. Wish them great success in every positive endeavor. Wish for them to be surrounded by love and light and all that is good. While you’re at it, send some of that energy to yourself, your community, your country and the world. Make today and the rest of this year an exercise in blessing yourself and those around you in the best way you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need to expect perfection from anyone else. Do your best, and if you do it with joy and love in your heart, your best will be better. Do every task with a positive intent to bless someone, especially if doing that task blesses you, and that task will seem easier. Put some love into every moment and before you know it, you’ll be surrounded by love. Give a hug, even if it’s to yourself. Wish yourself a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or just Happy Monday every time you look in a mirror today and smile while you do it. Bring peace and love to your heart so you can share it with others, and eventually, you’ll realize it doesn’t matter if the house of cards blows away. You’ll be left with what really does matter; peace, love and the joy of the season. That is what I wish for all of you today and the rest of the year, so thanks for being you, and have a great day.


One Response to “Do Better December 22nd 2014 Living in a House of Cards”


  1. Do Better December 22nd 2014 Living in a House of Cards | karenbemmes aka Better Living Daily - December 22, 2014

    […] Do Better December 22nd 2014 Living in a House of Cards. […]

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