The Spiritual Wink, Nudge and Kick in the Pants

24 Jan

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine asked if I would like to spend a few days with her at her condo in Florida. Being the despiser of winter that I am, I said yes. As it got closer to the day to go, I thought of a thousand reasons I shouldn’t go, but my husband assured me he and my boys would be fine and that I could use the R&R. My friend has her own business and had to work during the day so I figured I would work as well. I saw myself writing for hours and crafting my next book, a book on motherhood I’ve been itching to write. The night before I left I was so excited to dive into the book and soak in the warm weather.

I arrived on Sunday and it was warm and beautiful. I put on shorts and we walked. It felt good to be in the Sunshine state, and I was soaking up the best it had to offer. I didn’t worry about the writing because it was Sunday and I had three more days to make progress. I managed to walk 12, 500 steps but didn’t write a single word. The next day was just as beautiful. As my friend worked, I looked at social media and dove into email. I have so many emails, and I feel more and more behind as the number rises. I felt the need to purge in a big way, so I did. I dove into the emails, and it took three days, but I edited them to fewer than 600 for the first time in years. Yes, I have many more to delete and process, but I deleted more than half of the original number so I’m happy with it for now and the plan is to continue what I started until I have fewer than 100 emails total. It may sound like a small thing, but it’s a big thing for me. Oh, and I still didn’t write anything regarding the book.

While I was walking around the area, I started to take pictures of some of the houses for sale. There were big ones and small ones and multi-unit ones, and as I looked at them, I started to think about what I would like to do if I had a second home in Florida, and I came up with some amazing hopes and dreams. Not only would I want to be able to have my family visit whenever we wish, but I would also like to do something for moms. Actually, the something would be an in depth weekend, just for moms. I have a million ideas of what I would like the weekend to look like, but now how do I make it happen? It was a fun exercise in dreaming about making the world a better place, and I was having a blast building dreams I couldn’t have imagined a few years ago, but I was also questioning if the dream was realistic or even something to aspire to. It seemed nearly impossible that considering where I am now that I could create a mom weekend, but that’s when “it” happened. “It” was a phone call between my friend and her husband. My friend and I both talk to our husbands multiple times per day, but we rarely put them on speaker phone. For this particular call, my friends’ husband wanted to video chat with her and since I was in the room, I couldn’t help but hear what he was saying. He was talking about something he read about dream building and how this man went to somewhere luxurious, where he felt prosperous, and he set goals and dreamed about what he would like to be, have and do. My friend said, “Let’s go” and that is the last of their conversation I heard because I felt like the Divine had picked that moment and that man to show me my dreams were possible. It’s difficult to explain, but it felt like God was talking to me through my friend and her husband. I was sitting in a luxurious place. I was feeling awesome and hopeful and prosperous in friendship and in life. I am not ashamed to admit that I wept for joy at the confirmation and was ready to go home with a new dream.

The next night, one of my cousins shared an article titled How to Commit to a Creative Life by Kevin Ashton. I enjoy articles that talk about creativity; at least I usually enjoy them. This one needled at me and was making me very uncomfortable because of the truth I knew the article was telling. Then I read a passage that just went straight to my heart and soul. It was an incredibly direct, in your face spiritual moment. It’s was a moment that made me want to cry “Uncle” because I knew the Divine was speaking to me again, not in a frightening way, but in a firm way that let me know that I had a decision to make. It was the confirmation of the confirmation of the phone call between my friend and her husband. It was one paragraph in the article that felt like it had been written just for me. It spoke to me and challenged me, and as frightened as I am to make the leap I want to make; I’m more frightened to fall short of what I think I’m supposed to do on this earth and disappoint the Creator I believe gave me gifts to make it possible. The paragraph may not mean near as much to you as it did to me but read along anyway:

“The commitment has a high price: we must devote ourselves almost entirely to our creative goal. We must say no to distraction when we want to say yes. We must work when we do not know what to do. We must return to our creation every day without excuse. We must continue when we fail. If any devil is involved, he is not the one demanding commitment. Whatever your higher power, whether God, Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, or the greater good of humanity, this is whom you serve when you commit to a life of creation. What is diabolical is squandering your talents. We sell our soul when we waste our time. We drive neither ourselves nor our world forward if we choose idling over inventing.”

Wow. Squandering your talent is diabolical and wasting time is selling your soul. That is about as straightforward as it gets. So I got a nudge to write another book about motherhood. I went to Florida and all sorts of interesting ideas began to pop up about how I can help moms, get to spend time in Florida and maybe even make money in the process. You know, they say that God works in mysterious ways, and with the way things have gone for me this week, I would have to agree. I think sometimes we have to get away from our routines and our regular life to see our lives more clearly. I had that privilege this week. I was able to step away from the daily needs and wants of my life now and feel the call of my life in the future. It may be a near, mid-range or long range future but there’s a vision and a direction and it’s very exciting to think about. It’s also a little terrifying because what I want to do requires a huge leap of faith. It requires that I tune out the distractions and focus on the important tasks before me. It requires that I tune out all that is noise and focus on the path that was created for my personal success. I’m not looking to make millions, although that would be nice. I’m looking to be of service, to mentor and to coach those who would like to make their lives better. It requires that I be better and do better so I can teach better.

It requires that I think differently and live my life differently and give up activities that add nothing to my day. It’s something I’ve aspired to for years and I’m feeling like I’m almost there. I’m almost ready to take the leap, write and record the words and launch whatever I need to launch to fulfill the dream and walk on the path that the Divine has inspired. I pray I can do it justice. I pray this is truly the path. It feels like it is and there is so much good that can grow from it. It feels like what I should be doing right now, not for anyone else, but for my peace of mind and for the one who created me. I’m afraid I might fail. I’m just as scared I’ll succeed. I’m most frightened that all the confirmations I’m seeing isn’t from the Divine but my own feeble attempt to understand something that might not be a message for me at all, but I think that’s more of a cop out than an actual fear. That would be a convenient way for me to put what happened in a box and hide it away, but running from it might be the most diabolical thing in the world, to ignore a message you just know is from the Divine. It makes me feel exposed because now I feel like I have to put myself out there like never before. I have to be bold and brave and turn toward the wind even if I want to hide behind the trees. I have to live the bigger life I’m being called to live and it doesn’t look like anyone else’s life. I like what it looks like. I actually love what it looks like, but it requires so much of me.

I worry that I won’t be a good mom if I’m helping other moms be better. I remember the phrase, if God brings to it, He will bring you through it. I guess it’s time to make the leap and see what happens, so this weekend, I’ll be figuring out how to do what I need to do and keep my house from falling down around my ears. I’ll let you all know how that works out, and hopefully it will work better than I think it will because it’s the Divine plan, so why wouldn’t it work, right? Honestly, I can think of a million ways it won’t work. I can only think of one way it will work and that is with Divine intervention, protection and guidance. If I’m wrong, I’m sure it will fall in like a house of cards on a windy day. If I’m right, my Divine inspiration could help so many. It’s a chance I’m so afraid to take, but it’s one I feel like I have to take. Isn’t it amazing that a peace filled few days in Florida could cause all of that? Well it did, and I have no idea where it will all lead.

Every day I tell myself that life is good and it’s getting better, and most days I’m correct. We have food to eat and a roof over our heads and joy in our hearts. It’s a good place to be and a place I would like to help others get to and beyond, but I need to turn off the noise of life and dive in. Do you have a dream like that; one that could change the world or just change your world? How about you join me and we make the world a better place together? What if we shut out the noise and do what we were born to do? What if we take a deep breath and ask the Divine to guide us along the way? It may not be perfect, but for me it feels right and that makes it good enough. I challenge you to make it happen. I challenge you to ask for help and guidance. I pray we can all make our lives and the lives of those we encounter better. Let’s create a movement and live better every day. Doesn’t that sound amazing? It does to me. Take the leap and join me and let me know how it goes. I love being here and missed you all last week. Thanks for being you and have a great day.

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